We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
