Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
