Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize