What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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