Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
