I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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