Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Randomize
