We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize