Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize