It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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