Whod you bang
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
