Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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