we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
