Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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