Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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