They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
