If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Your cock deserves a montage
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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