11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I don't deserve a penis
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
