He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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