Sacagawea was the original milf.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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