yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize