remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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