you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She bit a glass in half.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
