well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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