Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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