I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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