I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize