we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize