I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
