very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize