ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
