you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
