were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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