just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
