I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
