ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Less talking, more tequila
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
