What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
