I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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