just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
