it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
