Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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