did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
