i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
