I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Welp...herpes.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
