I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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