I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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