We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
