It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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