K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
