yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
