Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
