Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
