My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My balls are so social today.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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