we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize