And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
