Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
