Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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