Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
