Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
