I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
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