I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
