The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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