Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
