We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
