have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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