On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
