i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize