walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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