Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
