Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
