She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
