Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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