I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
