did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
