I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
it was like eating out sand paper
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
