I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Oh god it's open bar.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
