are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
