oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
